Me: Someone at work puts Twilight stickers on the counter, it pisses me off!

Dad: Twilight? What do you mean?

Me: Oh, you know, that time between dusk and sunset. Idiot!

Dad: *looking confused* really? why would they like that?

Me: The movie, Dad! Its supposed to be about vampires, except they’re twinks and they sparkle and everything.

Dad: Oh yeah. I never really got into that.

Me: Thanks for clarifying, I thought you might have. 

Now that I think about it… why didn’t he ask me what a twink was? Did he just not hear that, or does he know!?

 I am considering attending the Chicago Supernatural convention in the fall. Thoughts?

Here goes “No Exit”.

This girl with a head shaped like a pumpkin is yelling at her landlord to come fix the faulty wiring in her apartment. In movies, the lights will be flashing and weird stuff will be happening, but the people are always just like, ‘the wiring must be faulty’ or ‘it’s the fuses’. In real life if the lights flicker in my house, my first instinct is:

and then I do this:

I think chocolate is leaking from this girl’s ceiling. Or poop.

Dean: Los Angeles; a young girl’s been kidnapped by an evil cult.

Sam: Does she have a name?

Dean: Katie Holmes.

AAHHAHAHA.

Dean, Sam, and Jo are all searching the apartment for the spirit. Its in the vent, all like

except in a vent and not a hamster.

Jo: I’m tired of your chauvinistic crap! You think women can’t do the job!

Dean:

Dean just pulled a bloody piece of scalp out of the vent. Maybe the ghost is trying to make a weave. It keeps the hair of all its victims and is a hideous creature, but with a luxurious, flowing mane!

People from the jail next door used to be hung in an empty field where the apartment building now stands. This has something to do with H.H. Holmes, one of the creepiest people of all time, but I’m not sure what, because I started thinking about Judge Mathis.

They think the girl might still be alive somewhere inside the apartment.  They’re inside the walls like rats in a maze. And the girl is the cheese.

Jo has been kidnapped! She’s being kept in a sewer along with the other girl who was kidnapped.

Sam and Dean to the rescue. They trap Holmes in a circle of salt and pour cement down the sewer to keep him there. Why don’t ghosts like salt? I love salt. I’d be like thank you, can you leave some French fries and ketchup as well. And then I’d stay in the sewer as long as it took me to eat them all, but not any longer than that.

Jo’s Mom is such a buzzkill.  She tells Jo that Sam and Dean’s dad screwed up on a hunt and got her Dad killed.

Oh Whatever. You’re hunting monsters, I think you have to accept that it comes with some occupational hazards.

Jo tells them to leave. BIG LOSS, Now they won’t get to have her mom yelling at them all the time.

Conclusion:  HEY ELLEN,

Morgan: Have you ever heard of “shipping”?

Me: …like UPS?

Morgan: …no.